Here's the spot on the website where we answer your most pressing questions.
How do you make it work?
It's magical, OBVIOUSLY. At first we started with monkeys in a room dialing numbers, but that was too cliché and plus they destroyed basically everything in the office. So then we paid a few college-aged interns to do it, but they got so annoyed waiting on hold while hungover that they invented a teleportation device and now are billionaires living in Fiji. So then we just brought together a few super brilliant people to build a technology that'll make computers wait on hold with each other until the humans are ready to talk. And voila, FastCustomer was born.
To be any more specific than that, well we'd be giving away the secret sauce. And we're just going to follow the lead of McDonald's and Coke and that baked bean company whose commercials have that golden retriever dog in them. In other words, we're keeping a lid on the technical stuff, but thanks for being so curious.
When will you release a [blackberry/windows phone/any other device] app?
Probably never, honestly. That's why we released the SMS/text option. Because we figured we could either spend the rest of our lives building native mobile apps and trying to keep up with them, which is nearly impossible unless we can train robots to build them for us, or just instead capitalize on the universal nature of texting. Which you're probably doing right now anyway while reading this.
BTW, if you know of mobile app-building robots, please let us know.
Ok, well then when will you release an Internet Explorer or Safari plugin?
Hopefully the first part of 2012. No joke. An IE plugin is in the works and Safari support won't be far behind. We probably won't build a plugin for Netscape Navigator, though. Which really is for your own good.
What happens if I don't get a callback like I expect?
Oh man, first, we apologize. Every second of every day, we are constantly racking our brains to make the call experience perfect for everyone from start to finish.
Secondly, we ask very kindly that you tell us which company you tried to call. That'll make us jump to action in updating the listing to be sure it doesn't happen again (or hide the listing until we figure out what's making things bonk).
Finally, we promise to keep doing everything in our power (and beyond!) to make call quality an absolute. That'll never change.
Hey, what do you do with my phone number, anyway?
We lock it away in a private vault in Gringott's. If you get that reference, then you'll know how secure that makes your phone number. Unless your phone number has a horcrux hidden within it, in which case Harry Potter has no choice but break into Gringott's to destroy your phone number for the good of all Hogwart's.
In short, we only use your phone number to do what you expect: that is, get calls from companies you tell us you want to talk to.
In shorter, keeping your data private means everything to us.
I can't believe this is free for me to use. How is that possible?
Because even though you might be skeptical, there are loads of companies out there who care about customer service. So they pay us to help them be awesome. Or awesomer, depending upon how great they were at providing exceptional customer service in the first place.
Will you ultimately make me pay to use it?
Nope. After all, it *is* called "free" time.
How do I get my own company listed?
Pay us a billion dollars. No, we’re kidding. Just submit this listing request and once we confirm you're a real company that’s not selling something illegitimate -- like socks made of delicious Intelligentsia coffee, which is impossible but intriguing -- then we'll make your listing public in the app. This normally takes a couple days because of the massive number of requests we consistently receive, so please practice a bit of patience while we respond.